Thankful Thursday

Somehow last Thursday vanished!! Wednesday came & I was thinking about all the wonderful things I have to be thankful for and could write about. Then suddenly it was Friday... I think someone may have ripped Thursday from my calendar! Luckily, there's a Thursday in every week, so I get a chance to tell you what I'm thankful for today :D

Today is a big ball of thankful string, all wound up together! It revolves around my beautiful little bubba girl (ok my whole world revolves around her these days!). I am so thankful that I have been able to spend the last 9 1/2 months with her. I have her booked into daycare 2 days a week next year and I have an official date to go back to work. In 5wks she'll have her first day at care and then after 3wks of adjustment, I'll head back to work! I am so glad that we were financially able to have me home for a year. While things have been a little tight, and the savings have taken a nose dive, we haven't missed any bills or meals!

In the time that I've spent learning to be a mum I've had some wonderful adventures! We've joined a fantastic supportive & entertaining playgroup, been to Baby Rhyme Time at the Library weekly, and this term we've taken up swimming lessons. It's such a great feeling watching your baby grow & learn right before your eyes! I never thought I'd be getting out and about AT ALL when I first brought Abz home from hospital. Now we're out almost every day :) She's helped me learn a lot about life & love, and most importantly, myself. I want to be a better person so I can teach her to be a good person too.

So thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who has been part of this year! My family, my old friends who still include me in things, my new friends who have welcomed me so openly and my beautiful little girl who has opened my heart <3

Deck the Halls

Well December is well and truly underway! That means SUMMER. And Christmas. The last few years I would cringe at the thought of the 'C' word, so much so that I made my theme song "Ho Ho F**king Ho" by Kevin Bloody Wilson (WARNING it contains pretty strong language and you may never look at me the same after listening to it...). Working in retail I was tired of hearing carols piped through the PA system from October, carols that are completely irrelevant in Australia. Then there's the influx in customers in the shops. Everyone wanting their stuff last week and thinking that they are much more important than anyone else. Don't get me wrong, I do quite enjoy my job for the most part, it's just the attitude of some people... Then a large amount of 'some people' in a cluster... well, it's enough to put even Santa himself off Christmas!! Anyhow, lets not talk about the negatives today.

This year something changed! I've had a whole year off work, I haven't had to listen to festive music ad nauseum, and I get to make things all pretty and exciting for my little girl. So really, what's not to love?! Little kids make Christmas more magical for me - seeing those little eyes light up just does something I can't describe. Abbie was certainly in aw of the pretty colours when we switched on the tree! Saturday afternoon I dug out the tree and the decorations from the store room (of doom!) and dusted them all off. We didn't bother decorating last year so it was a bit of a mission to scale the piles of random boxes and rescue the tree. I set it all up with Abbie eagerly watching from Daddy's lap. Then she helped put her very first ornament on the tree - a reindeer she chose at Kmart. We also put on a cat for Victor :)

My little reindeer

Helping daddy put it on the tree

Our Christmas tree

All lit up!

Mesmerised

Sunday was party day!! First off we had the kids party for Matthew's work. It was on the lawn outside the Ergon office and there was plenty of entertainment for the kids. There was a jumping castle, water slide, face painting, fairy floss and a petting zoo. Matthew took Abbie to see the animals but she wasn't too keen, especially after she got pecked by a duckling! We had some lunch then Santa came!! All the kids got called up to sit on Santa's lap then get a present. Abbie was first on the list and she was pretty impressed with her new shape sorter :) Then she decided the paper was pretty fun too...

We went home for a little rest before heading out again to our next Christmas party. All our playgroup friends got together down at the riverway lagoons and had a sausage sizzle and a swim. We also did a secret santa and Abbie was very lucky to get some toys for the bath and a cute little dress :) We are so lucky to have such wonderful friends to play with and share great memories! After a big day it was time to go home for some much needed sleep.

Monday we went to the daycare centre to have a play and get a feel for things. Abz was not shy at all! She was straight into the toys and taste tested most of them... I just hope she's happy to be there for 2 full days a week, without mummy & daddy to play with!

After daycare we went to the shops to finish Christmas shopping and pick up our toy sale layby. I think we're pretty much done on the present front, which is a huge achievement in this house! Next year I think we'll just donate gifts to the Wishing Tree...

And that about wraps things up. Ha ha, wrap....
Until we meet again xo

TGIF...?

Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday.... Sorry, had to do it!
Yes it's come around again, the last day of the working week. For most people. However if you're a parent it's just another day. Sun comes up, life happens, sun goes down, repeat. My sister will happily remind me that "you made the choice to have a kid" and of course she's right! (she's always right, just ask her ;p) I did make the choice to have a baby. So I'm not really complaining that I don't get a weekend or days off. Much... I still look forward to weekends cos it means 2 days of sharing the joy of Abbie with Matthew. Also sharing a few dirty nappies if I can manage it!

This weekend is a bit special because we're going to put up the Christmas tree!! Something I haven't really been excited about doing for a while. We didn't even bother with it last year. But this is Abbie's first Christmas, so I want to make an effort. Then on Sunday we have TWO Christmas parties to go to. One for the Ergon (Matthew's work) social club and one for our playgroup. I'm sure there will be much fun and laughter and a LOT of yummy food :D Then Monday is Matthew's RDO (he gets every 2nd Monday off) and we're going to our day care orientation day.

I'll let you know how it all goes next week! (I'm going to attempt to write more frequently... yes I know, I said that before). Have a great weekend whatever you may be doing, and if you're unlucky enough to be working just remember at least you get to go home at the end of the day ;)

Thankful Thursday

I thought since I got back on the horse yesterday, I'd better have another crack today. I have a few friends who write blogs, and one in particular who really inspired me to have another attempt at mine. So today I'm thankful for friends, particularly those who have the courage to tell it like it is (or in this case, type it) This is kind of a shout out post I guess :) I'm going to share some other blogs with you and hope that you can enjoy them as much as I do.

First off, my friend Kate has Mummy's Love Jug. Full of laughs and frustration and the day to day occurrences of life with kids. I've been a loyal follower for over a year now, and my day always feels like something's missing if I don't get to read it! Kate has been doing Motivational Monday on her blog, so I thought I'd do my spin with Thankful Thursday :)

Second on my regular read list is Daneyl at The Strands of Me . Another mummy blog with some cooking and lifestyle thrown in. Danyel has been blogging for a few years, but I've only realised this about a year ago. I love here Simple Things Sunday and I might even get around to doing a few of those posts myself...

Third is a newcomer to the mummy blogging scene, but amusing and relevant all the same. My cousin Megan's The World's Worst Mum. I can assure you she is NOT in any way the world's worst mum, in fact she's pretty darn good at it :) Her first two posts have been funny, honest and easy to relate to and I can't wait to see what she comes out with next!

Well, that's about it for today. Short and sweet.
What are you thankful for?
xo

Ok, I lied...

Remember my last post a month ago? The one I ended with "Stay tuned for my next post on Marwage & twu wuv"? Yeah, well, this is not that post I promised!! Why not I hear you ask... Well, cos it's harder than I thought. Sitting down and putting thoughts and feelings into meaningful sentences without sounding like a walking cliche (or contradiction!) There were 2 reasons I wanted to write about marriage (please read that in the voice of the Impressive Clergyman from the Princess Bride). First, because I'd been to my friend's wedding and the minister spoke a bit like the aforementioned Clergyman, so much so that Matthew & I couldn't look at each other during the ceremony. And second, because after the wedding we spent a few days with my grandparents who have been married for 63 years!! After all that time they are still so sweet and loving to one another, it's really quite cute :) So it got me thinking about what marriage is all about and why, in the world we live in today, do we even bother? If you're expecting some profound, insightful answer to that I suggest you stop reading NOW!! Cos I honestly have no idea.... That sounds bad since I've been married for 3yrs now, doesn't it?

Well, maybe I'll start with why I got married. I wanted to have babies! Yep, I'm old fashioned, I believe in marriage before kids. I'm not religious, I was just brought up by a mother who made it clear she'd disown me if a baby came before my wedding! (That line from Robin Hood Men in Tights - No ding ding before the wedding ring, springs to mind). A lot of people would say being married doesn't mean you'll stay together longer/forever, or that you'll stick around to look after your kids, and maybe they're right. But it's a lot harder to get out of it once it legal.... Anyway, I only plan on having one marriage, and staying in it till death (or keith urban becomes available ;p) To me being married is a legal contract, and a promise to be there for each other, no matter what. If you're seven eighths crazy (like me), if you lose your job, if you get fat, if you can't have a baby or if you suck at housework (like I do!) you stick it out. Sure there's disagreements over what movie to watch, and arguments over who spent the last $100 on something unnecessary and long standing frustrations about asking him to pick up the bathmat EVERY NIGHT! But you work it out. Even the real problems over significant things are fixable. Most times. I think we live in a world today where it's far to easy to say "I give up". To quit when it gets hard. To look for someone else instead of seeing the person beside you. I'm not saying every relationship should last forever, or every marriage must be fixed. But I think in a lot of cases we don't try hard enough. Maybe because we don't know how. Or maybe, because it's too hard.

Another reason I got married was security I guess. Having someone to always be there to hold my hand, to tell me things will be all right. Knowing that there was at least one person who had publicly promised to take care of me! Obviously I didn't just choose any old Joe off the street. And my parents didn't promise me to someone I'd never met (they used to joke about that...) I found someone who 'got' me, who understood my quirks and accepted my individuality (read: fragile mental state). Admittedly he still hasn't mastered the art of mind reading, or putting his dishes in the sink... But hey, I'm far from the perfect wife/person! Besides, if I was perfect now, where would life go?

So babies and security... yep, those are my reasons... I didn't care about looks or money. A brain & some common sense were imperative though!! Oh, and love!! Yeah, y'all thought I was gonna leave that out didn't you?! Now that we have our beautiful little girl I think we love each other even more. We appreciate the time we get to spend together more, and we LOVE watching Abz become her own little person :) She just makes the sun shine brighter. She makes us see what life is really about and that even in such a busy, crazy world there IS time to sit back and enjoy the little things.

And there you have it, a much different version of what I promised weeks ago! I guess I didn't really lie, but the title did get your attention right?

As Good As A Holiday...

We have just returned from a two week "holiday" visiting family and friends in various places across QLD. That included driving 3000+ kms and staying in six different places, each for no more that 4 nights. A lot of people would find that fun and exciting... NOT ME! I don't do well with 'new' or 'unfamiliar' places. Some of the places we stayed were not unfamiliar at all, but the stress of making sure we had everything we needed and packed it all up at each place was just a bit off putting for me. However, as far as I know, we haven't lost any items. We definitely remembered to take the baby so I think we'll call it a success ;)

Traveling with a baby sure makes you realise how easy life was when there were only two adults to worry about!! I've always been a planner when it comes to traveling. I write lists and make sure I've got things for every possible situation. Climate appropriate clothing, toiletries, medication, updated ipod playlist, chargers for various devices... Then add all the baby things... stroller, cot, cot sheets, nappies, food, toys, kitchen sink... Obviously most things are available at a shop along the way, or you can substitute and make do with what you have. But being prepared makes me feel more in control. I think. Anyway, I always ALWAYS end up over packing. I get home and half my clothes never even left the bag. But better to have too much than not enough right?

So I bet you're all wondering where we went and what we did that could take us so far! (If not, I guess you can just stop reading and go do something more interesting). Our trip was planned around one of my very best friend's wedding. It was held in Toowoomba on 6th October, so we took a week before and a week after so there wasn't too much rushing around. We left Townsville on Sunday 30th to drive the 630ish km to Mum's place in Barcaldine (central west QLD). This trip used to take us around 7hrs, inclusive of breaks. With Abbie it takes 8hrs. One extra hour doesn't seem like a big deal. But putting a baby in and out of the car, feeding her, changing her, and settling her it seems like so much longer!! Anyway, 8hrs and the first part of our trip was over without any dramas. We spent 3 days at Mum's, mostly seeing my family and some close friends (sadly there really wasn't enough time to see everyone I usually do). On Thursday we headed off again, on our way to Toowoomba (in the South East corner). We chose to only drive the 500km to Mitchell which is a bit over half way there. It meant we didn't have to leave at stupid o'clock and we could take our time getting there. Thanks to some road works (and a nice little picnic lunch) along the way it took us 7hrs. Not that bad considering Matthew hadn't driven that way before and I hadn't been that way without my parents driving.

The next morning Abbie woke us around 6:30am, so we decided we might as well pack up and head off after feeding her. The guy at the servo told Matthew head out to Condamine would be much quicker than the main highway because of all the road works. So we went off on a little side quest :D Not a lot to see along the way, and not too many places to stop. The 400ish km trip to my Aunty's place in Oakey took us 7hrs... If this was the raod with fewer road works, I'd hate to think how long the other way would have taken!! After a bite of lunch and a couple of hours to catch up with my Aunty & Uncle, we headed in to Toowoomba to our motel. Saturday afternoon we went to the wedding, which was BEA-utiful! Rach looked stunning in her dress and the whole service was sweet and elegant :) Unfortunately I was feeling rather unwell by the time of the reception, and after much deliberation I decided it was best to go home to bed (rather than being known as 'the chick that spewed at the reception!') I think I was mostly dehydrated from 2 days in the car.

Sunday we packed up and checked out of our room, then headed to my other Aunty's place at Geeham (a little way out of Toowoomba). We had some morning tea and a bit of a catch up before continuing on to my Grandparent's farm at Ravensbourne (a little bit further up the road). We stayed with them for two days and got to see how happy they were to meet their great grandaughter for the first time. To see their looks of absolute love and affection means the world to me! That such a small person could bring so much light and joy into their house for those few days is so special. My grandma is 85 and Poppy is 87, and over the last few years they have started slowing down. They don't seem to let it get to them, but I could tell that my baby definitely perked them up :)

Our next stop was Matthew's grandma's place in Landsborough (sunshine coast). We had lunch with her Tuesday and spent a few hours sharing our cheeky little monkey with her for the first time. I think this is about the time I realised Abbie could actually maneuver herself across the floor in a forwards direction!! Most people would refer to this as crawling. But hers was more of a dig the toes in then drag with the arms type motion.  Later that afternoon we made our way to Brisbane to stay with my friend Zoe for a few days. She makes THE BEST brownies. EVER! (Go have a look - https://www.facebook.com/ZoesBrownies?ref=ts&fref=ts). Zoe & her husband Will were wonderful hosts, opening their home and fridge to us :) Although I disappointed Will when I was given the choice of 200 channels on Foxtel and still chose Neighbours! It was nice to just catch up with friends and not have any major time constraints. We spent a few hours on the Thursday at Chermside with our very good friend Vee, showing her the baby and reminiscing about our uni days. Then it was time to pack up and head home!

Friday was a looooong day. It took us 10hrs to get from Brisbane to Rockhampton! A 630ish km trip... and do you know why?? Road works! Of course! So by the time we got to our cabin at 6pm, I had a tired, cranky baby, and a tired, cranky husband. But we needed dinner. So it was off to McDonald's, where we met up with my sisters who were in town for a wedding. Then off to bed to get some much needed rest for our last long journey home. We really weren't expecting to get all the way from Rocky to Townsville in one day, given that it was the longest stretch of our trip and everything else had taken so much longer than anticipated... But somehow we managed 700+ kms in 9hrs!! Yay, our holidays were over! Wait, yay? Yes, yay. All that time in the car, stopping and starting, waiting for road works and trying not to be cranky at a tired, bored little girl was finally over. We could sleep in our own beds and get Abbie back to some kind of stability.

Obviously it was great to get to see so many people we love, and to share our special little girl with them all. We are very grateful to everyone who gave us a place to sleep and food to eat, and proud of the way Abbie coped with all the changes everyday. To me it doesn't really feel like a holiday, because when you're a mum, you do the same things wherever you are! But having a change of scenery (or 5) and seeing so many special people made it all worthwhile. However, next time I think of driving that far in two weeks, can someone please direct me back to this post??!
Sorry it's so long, I did try to keep it short!! I guess a lot more happens in my life than I realised :D

Stay tuned for my next post on Marwage & twu wuv!

Being me

Hey guys! First let me say a big THANK YOU to everyone who has stopped by to read my blog! I was surprised and amazed when my views went up from 10 to 40 overnight!! That's the power of facebook sharing. I'm sure there were some people who were genuinely interested in what I had to say, and others who read it just cos they love me (thanks!) and then a few who just went for a sticky beak... we all do it, so don't feel guilty :p

A year ago, or even 6 months ago, I would never have dreamed of sharing my thought so publicly. I may have written a blog, but I wouldn't have actually told anyone I was doing it! You see, I care a lot about what other people say and think of me. I'm terrified of someone telling me I'm wrong, or they don't agree with me. I hate confrontation and I avoid new situations because it just scares the crap out of me. I know that saying 'those who matter don't mind, those who mind don't matter' but it's easier said than done. All my life I have been very self conscious and shy. I know if you've known me for a long time you would disagree with that! But I generally don't put myself out there. So a big cheer for me is in order!!

I know that I have a lot to say, and that I'm really not stupid! Lazy, shy, cautious yes, but stupid, NO! Sure I'm no rocket scientist or heart surgeon and I doubt very much that I'll win a Nobel prize.... but I'm educated and sensible and logical. So why then, do I avoid putting my opinion forward? I don't bother researching facts, I don't like being told I'm wrong and I can't articulate my point properly without wanting to slap someone in the face because I *KNOW* they're wrong!! Somewhere along the line I lost all my confidence. I think around grade 10 it just packed up and left me. No warning, no explanation, not even a break up letter, just vanished! It's hard to finish high school, move towns, start uni, and get jobs when you don't believe in yourself. Really, really hard. To the point that you wonder if it's even worth trying. When everything feels like a very steep uphill battle. But somehow I pushed on. I think most times it was because I felt I owed it to my dad to not give up. He worked so hard, for a small wage, to keep our family going. What kind of daughter would I be if I just gave up? It's hard to explain, but he's my reason :)

This is a very well thought out post, it's mostly a bunch of half ideas slapped together... but that's what goes on in my head all the time! Great ideas flitting around like butterflies, all colourful and fancy free, but never quite within reach. There is just so much that I want and need to do, but I can't quite pin down a starting point. My to do list looks something like this:








There are actually a few more things between 2 & 3 these days, but I still feel a lot like I'm in survival mode. Le sigh. Anyhow, things ARE getting better and my life is getting more organised! It's just taken me a long time to really get my butt into gear and start trying to be a bit more proactive.
Sorry if this has been a bit boring and disconnected today... maybe next time I'll tell you a bit more about me in a more biographical way.

A condensed history (part 2!)

In my first post, I made it through the first 12 months of my life since my last blog was abandoned. That means we still have 3 years to cover to get to present day... so make yourself a coffee, grab some bikkies, and come along for the ride!

*Allows coffee making time*

Alrighty, September 2009. That's when I got married!! The 19th, 3yrs ago yesterday to be exact. On International Talk Like  Pirate Day :) Although the thought did cross my mind, we did not have a ceremony conducted in Pirate talk. It was your straight forward, stand in a church, listen to some Bible stuff, say "I Will" and sign the paperwork. Wait, what about "you may now kiss the bride"?!! Nope, our minister never said that bit! AWKWARD. Standing there at the end kinda like, ooookaaay, I guess that's it, we're.... married. We had the official bit at the Barcaldine Uniting Church, the same place I was Christened and my grandad's and dad's funerals were held. I'm not a huge religious person, but I had this idea that getting married in a church was 'the right thing to do'. My brother walked me down the aisle and it was all just a bit emotional, doing it without dad (he died when I was 17, that's another story). Later we had our photos at the Australian Worker's Heritage Centre (a local tourist attraction dedicated to ... Australian Workers!) and at a rose garden. There were some lovely shots, but also plenty that could have been better. However, my uncle did them as a gift so I really shouldn't complain. Then we had our reception at the golf club, where my family have been members since I was 10. I could go on a lot more about the wedding in detail, but I think that'll do us for a condensed history!

Moving on. 

At the end of 2009 I was offered a permanent, part-time position at Target working on the back dock unloading trucks, receiving deliveries & dealing with customer picks ups. It's hard work, but it's nice to see results at the end of the day. My self confidence has improved a lot through that position and I like being in such an important role in the store. There's plenty more tasks in the job, but again, condensed history. 

2010 - not overly exciting. We bought a brand new car - Toyota Corolla. We moved from our unit to a house. I bought my sister's 1998 Corolla and returned my 1992 Rodeo to mum's. My little Frankie graduated high school! I started babysitting her and her brother & sister when I was 16 and they were 6, 4 & 2. Frances is now 19, Em 17 & about to finish school, and Luke 15. 

Moving on to 2011. We decided to try to have a baby!! Well, we'd kind of decided the previous June when my pill prescription ran out, but I wasn't overly expectant of anything happening in the first few months. And luckily it didn't, cos it turns out the medications I was on were not good for pregnancy!! So I came completely off anti-depressants (I'd been on since 16, but decreasing the dose recently), came off cholesterol medication cos that was fairly under control from changed eating habits, and changed my blood pressure medication. That all happened around January, and every passing month I was disappointed. Then in May we adopted a cat from my friend who was moving to Brisbane & couldn't take him with her. Victor was very shy at first, but it didn't take him long to take over as lord emperor of the house!!  And what do you know, just 3 weeks after that little furry guy came into our lives, I was PREGNANT!! YAAAYY!! I was so incredibly excited. And nervous, scared, anxious, happy, thrilled, unsure...... the list of emotions is endless. I finished up work at Christmas with 9wks til my due date.

February 23rd, 20012 at 12:19am little Abigail Cate Warren shot her way into the world!! At 7lb 3oz (3.285kg) and 49.5cm she was just perfect. Pink, wrinkly, crying loudly, absolutely amazing and all mine!! She has changed my life immensely and I just could not imagine not having her here. 

Well, I think that about wraps up the last 4 years in my life. There's several things I can elaborate on, which means more blog posts!! So until next time, may all your cakes be chocolatey :)

Where to start...

Well, this is my THIRD attempt at keeping a blog... Each time I promise to update it regularly. Each time, I fail! This time, however, I think I'll have more success since I spend a lot more time at home without much adult interaction! So, there's much to say to whoever chooses to read :) I can't promise to be politically correct, or provide solid evidence to back up my opinions, so please don't crucify me if you don't agree!! I will do my best to use correct spelling and grammar - I can't stand bad grammar!! I don't care if it is the internet, that's no excuse. If you can't communicate effectively, step away from the keyboard.... Also, I have a tendency to ramble off course with whatever idea pops into my head. I'm blaming that on baby brain ;) 

I've decided to name my new blog The Spicks & The Specks of My Life for a few reasons. First, if I ever get around to recording a covers album, it would be of songs that have influenced my life and I'd call it "(the spicks & the specks) Of My Life". Second, this is going to be a blog of all sorts of things that happen in my life and make me Me. Third, one of my all time favourite tv shows, which is no longer running, and last, bloody great song!

Ok, so, since my last attempt at blogging quite a lot has happened. I've left my first teaching job, got engaged, taught in 2 more schools, moved house twice,  given up on teaching (for now), bought 2 cars, got married, became part time permanent at Target, and had a baby! I've also lost all my baby weight and a bit more!! When I list it all, it really is a lot of achievements :D

I'll start with the teaching thing since that what my lost blog started about. Cast your mind back to September 2008.... I'd just finished uni and started my first teaching job. Well, getting grade 7 at the end of the year is hardly easy for a new teacher. Add to the fact that I'm not overly confident and had pretty much NOTHING to work from, and you get one highly stressed, traumatised Cathee O.O Also the teacher I was sharing a room with, who was meant to be helping me, turned out to be a backstabbing selfish so and so. It wasn't a very nice place to work, and I was struggling severely, so was given the choice to resign or be put on some 'under performing teacher program'. Option 2 didn't sound very nice or complimentary to my career, so for my own sanity I chose to leave. I don't think of myself as someone who gives up but at 24 years old and calling my mum in tears several times a week it was the best decision for me. So maybe it wasn't 'giving up' but letting go...

After that debacle, I went back to Target casually (pretty much full time given it was nearly Christmas) for the rest of the year. I always felt appreciated and needed and valued there. Matthew and I got engaged in Nov 08 after he was going to move to Brisbane for a job. I told him I wasn't moving so he said he stay if we got married. Not a particularly romantic proposal, but honest and meaningful. I was worth staying for! The next month our landlord of 3yrs decided he was selling all his rental properties. We had 3 weeks to find a new place and move!! THREE WEEKS! Over Christmas & New Year. In wet season!!! Unsurprisingly, we didn't find a new place.... all our stuff went into storage and we ended up staying in a spare room under my friend's house for a month. Finally in Feb 2009 we moved into a small unit. It had many flaws so after only 18 months we moved to the house we're currently living in.

2009 I was offered a part time contract doing relief teaching 4 days a week. It was a really nice school with friendly, helpful staff members and I didn't have the stress of having to prepare lessons and write reports!! I found it a bit of a confidence boost because I was able to work on a few elements of the job rather than EVERYTHING at once! I knew that I only had to survive each class for 2 days at a time, and if it didn't go according to plan it wasn't the end of the world. Thankfully most of the classes were really great and accepted me as 'their teacher' whenever I was in their class :) 
Towards the end of term one I was offered a part time music teaching contract at a different school. It was initially for 3wks but had opportunity for extension. While I was really enjoying the job I was doing, the potential long term employment was alluring and won me over. I ended up with the music job from March to August and I got to really enjoy it and gained some confidence back. It was a really tough school, and music teachers are not high on the people to respect list of school kids... The reason I left was a new Principal having 'someone else in mind' for the job!! Given that I was only on a contract and not a permanent EQ staff member I had to cop it on the chin. Not to worry, good old Target took me back. Well, I'd still been there on weekends, so they just gave me more hours. I haven't done any teaching since then. At this stage I'm not in the frame of mind to go back, but one day I'd like to do something with kids and development. 

Anyway, this is getting rather long, and I should spend some time with Matthew now he's home from work. I'll continue my condensed version of the last 4 years tomorrow, hopefully!!