Ok, I lied...

Remember my last post a month ago? The one I ended with "Stay tuned for my next post on Marwage & twu wuv"? Yeah, well, this is not that post I promised!! Why not I hear you ask... Well, cos it's harder than I thought. Sitting down and putting thoughts and feelings into meaningful sentences without sounding like a walking cliche (or contradiction!) There were 2 reasons I wanted to write about marriage (please read that in the voice of the Impressive Clergyman from the Princess Bride). First, because I'd been to my friend's wedding and the minister spoke a bit like the aforementioned Clergyman, so much so that Matthew & I couldn't look at each other during the ceremony. And second, because after the wedding we spent a few days with my grandparents who have been married for 63 years!! After all that time they are still so sweet and loving to one another, it's really quite cute :) So it got me thinking about what marriage is all about and why, in the world we live in today, do we even bother? If you're expecting some profound, insightful answer to that I suggest you stop reading NOW!! Cos I honestly have no idea.... That sounds bad since I've been married for 3yrs now, doesn't it?

Well, maybe I'll start with why I got married. I wanted to have babies! Yep, I'm old fashioned, I believe in marriage before kids. I'm not religious, I was just brought up by a mother who made it clear she'd disown me if a baby came before my wedding! (That line from Robin Hood Men in Tights - No ding ding before the wedding ring, springs to mind). A lot of people would say being married doesn't mean you'll stay together longer/forever, or that you'll stick around to look after your kids, and maybe they're right. But it's a lot harder to get out of it once it legal.... Anyway, I only plan on having one marriage, and staying in it till death (or keith urban becomes available ;p) To me being married is a legal contract, and a promise to be there for each other, no matter what. If you're seven eighths crazy (like me), if you lose your job, if you get fat, if you can't have a baby or if you suck at housework (like I do!) you stick it out. Sure there's disagreements over what movie to watch, and arguments over who spent the last $100 on something unnecessary and long standing frustrations about asking him to pick up the bathmat EVERY NIGHT! But you work it out. Even the real problems over significant things are fixable. Most times. I think we live in a world today where it's far to easy to say "I give up". To quit when it gets hard. To look for someone else instead of seeing the person beside you. I'm not saying every relationship should last forever, or every marriage must be fixed. But I think in a lot of cases we don't try hard enough. Maybe because we don't know how. Or maybe, because it's too hard.

Another reason I got married was security I guess. Having someone to always be there to hold my hand, to tell me things will be all right. Knowing that there was at least one person who had publicly promised to take care of me! Obviously I didn't just choose any old Joe off the street. And my parents didn't promise me to someone I'd never met (they used to joke about that...) I found someone who 'got' me, who understood my quirks and accepted my individuality (read: fragile mental state). Admittedly he still hasn't mastered the art of mind reading, or putting his dishes in the sink... But hey, I'm far from the perfect wife/person! Besides, if I was perfect now, where would life go?

So babies and security... yep, those are my reasons... I didn't care about looks or money. A brain & some common sense were imperative though!! Oh, and love!! Yeah, y'all thought I was gonna leave that out didn't you?! Now that we have our beautiful little girl I think we love each other even more. We appreciate the time we get to spend together more, and we LOVE watching Abz become her own little person :) She just makes the sun shine brighter. She makes us see what life is really about and that even in such a busy, crazy world there IS time to sit back and enjoy the little things.

And there you have it, a much different version of what I promised weeks ago! I guess I didn't really lie, but the title did get your attention right?